As a child, church was an on again off again kind of thing, having attended many different denominations. We didn't attend services on a regular basis but when we did I enjoyed going, (even got a part in a play once) I was an angel, Yep, standing on stage, in front of a crowded audience saying my part, all of a sudden my wing fell off. At the young age of maybe 8 or 9 I was very upset with this matter, how could you carry on your part as angle with a broken wing!
Then there was attending our little Methodist church in our very small country setting, while staying with our Grandmother. She was determined to have us go to church while at her house, (as an adult I realize now it was probably a matter of giving her a break.) During the winter months, Grandma would dig out an old heavy coat (that had to have been one of our own mothers or my Aunt's) bundleing us up, she would add layers, complete with hats and scarves (Vicky, you can relate to this) until you could hardly waddle, then she'd send us on our way.
As a teen, I left home to follow what I thought was my true love. He didn't really attend church unless it was a special occassion, wedding, baptism, holidays, etc. All in all, this relationship ended leaving behind a life of abuse, as well as neglect and I moved on. Shortly after, I met my match, my knight in shing armour, as I used to tell him frequently. He being Catholic, I started attending Masses, our children were raised Catholic, here we are 20 some years later, still married attending Catholic mass. For me, it is a calling of sorts, I feel comforted within the walls of our local Catholic church, we truly have a wonderful Father here. If we miss out on Mass, I do feel like I've missed something...
I had decided a few years ago to take the leap and attend a class to learn more about the Catholic faith. Classes were full, no one wanted to leave at the end of class, the people who taught this class were amazing at getting the points across (was like a movie) wanting to hear more. I know, this is where I am suppose to be, I just feel it!
Today, we meet with the preist, to go over some of our past, this is difficult for me, I feel like I have to re-live the past. I do, however, look forward to getting all this behind me, I so look forward to the day I can receive communion, it is a feeling of becoming whole.
Please pray for me today, that I will be strong, that God will guide me through this, that I can and will fulfill my dream of becoming Catholic.
7 comments:
Now that I have stepped away to compose myself I think I can type. You had me in tears!
Tears of remembering. Oh yes, I remember those weekends or summers at grandma's and going to church. On occasion she did go with us. Oh gosh you remember Mel we would be so excited to go and it was always the best when we were there together.
Tears of sadness. I remember the verbal, mental, and physical abuse. How we wanted nothing more than to escape. Maybe that is why we spent a lot of time at grandpa and grandma's to get to a place where we could be a kid. Then as we grew instead of turning to our grandparents we turned to others out of love that in time did the same in one way or another as our parents.
Tears of sorrow. For the lost childhood that we never really had. We had to grow up too fast.
But think about it Mel and when you go today to tell of the past remember that past is what brought you to the person you are today. A strong person! A person with a good heart! A caring person!
Be proud of who you are today because you have been a good wife and mother. Be proud of the child you were because that child was innocent, sweet, and caring and you had enough heart within you not to give up.
Go tell of the past and then put it into the past. As you tell it feel me next to you with my arms wrapped around you.
Love Ya Cuz :)
You are strong and God is guiding you!
Vicky, I also had tears after reading your comment. I know we joke at some of the ways Grandma showed us her love, but, God bless her, she did her best. I'm glad I had the opportunity to visit her during her few last years, and have pictures of her on my dresser. We will meet again, God willing!
Gail, Thank you, yes, I feel his calling, I will do everything in my power to climb to Glory, as long as "Our Father" is there to lead the way.
As we Catholics say; "Thanks be to God"
Mel, bless your heart! It is so wonderful to want to follow and learn, especially our faith! May God bless and guide you through all! blessings, Kathleen
I cannot even begin to thank you all for your encouraging words. You are all a big part of my blessings...
Your life sounds so much like mine. My Catholic husband and I were married 18 years before I joined the church. There are some painful memories to face from the past but taking your first Communion will make it all worthwhile.
Good luck- God Bless - and WELCOME!!
Hi Hoosier,
I tried to stop by and leave a Thank you note, but, was unable to find your blog. Yes, I look forward to making my first communion...
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